


Do I Wanna Know?

by takemylifenotmyheart



Series: Do I Wanna Know? [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-12
Updated: 2018-12-12
Packaged: 2019-09-17 02:51:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16966299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takemylifenotmyheart/pseuds/takemylifenotmyheart
Summary: Based on the song Do i wanna know by Arctic Monkeys; our mans bucky doesn’t know how to deals w the feels





	Do I Wanna Know?

The next morning you came to the breakfast table wearing what you wore to bed last night. Under most other circumstances you would’ve considered a tank top and shorts to be a little inappropriate for group breakfast but you were already late and you didn’t think anyone really cared at this point. You walked into the usual clutter of bowls, cutlery and cereals, milk and juices on the counter and the smell of fresh toast and…pancakes? The smell of pancakes instantly lifted your mood as you walked into the dining space with a bright smile, helping yourself to three pancakes and lathering them generously with nutella. You took a seat at the table closest to you, in between Steve and Sam.

“Morning Y/N!” Natasha called out seeing you enter.

“Hey Nat, morning! You too Wanda.” You’d replied cheerily.

The whole atmosphere was sunny and cheery as you contently munched away at your chocolate pancakes, laughing at the routine teasing that was bound to take place any time more than four or five people were at the table and the combination included Sam Wilson.

When you saw Bucky walk in your heart fluttered. You were trying very hard to not choke on your food while laughing but Sam was making it difficult for you.

“Hey Bucky”, you gave him a small smile. He didn’t say anything to you in response, he just kept staring at you. You saw his jaws clench like you knew they did when he was angry at something. You were staring back at him when the realization hit you like a minivan.

“Oh shit uh I’m sorry I’m in your place, I’ll just um shift-” You were sitting in Bucky’s place in between Steve and Sam. You got up hurriedly to move when Sam stopped you and forced you to sit back.

“Hey man I like Y/N more than I like you, just get yo ass in some other seat.”

“Traitor.” You heard Bucky grumble under his breath as he went towards the counter to get his food. Though you were grateful to Sam for the compliment, you didn’t want to make Bucky mad. He’d already suddenly been acting strangely distant with you for the past three weeks. You had no idea what had happened or what you had done but you wanted to fix it, you hated Bucky being a stranger to you. Somehow it felt like Bucky was closing himself off from you and cutting you off, a lot like how it used to initially be. You’d thought that by now you both were past at least that to begin with but the last few weeks had made you question if that was really true anymore. You really didn’t like it but at the same time you had no idea how to approach him about it. Both of you weren’t the best of friends sure, but you both used to hang out with each other quite a lot and you’d always had a lot of fun. Too much fun, your brain chided. You tried to not go down that road.

“Sleep well last night, Y/N?” Tony’s voice cut through the din as well as though your thoughts and rang out sharp.

“Yeah I did actually, why?”

“Well, at least somebody did, because I for one couldn’t get a wink with all that screaming coming from your room.” Tony’s eyes crinkled and lit up at the sides, the way it did when he was messing around with someone.

“Tony, you drama queen, your room is soundproofed,” you laughed at him as he pretended to be hurt by gesturing a broken heart with his fingers. The whole room burst into laughter at his antics. You didn’t mind, this stuff was nothing different from the usual. That was when you noticed Bucky abruptly walked out of the room.

“Buck?” Steve called out after his best friend walked off without any explanation. “I’ll talk to him later,” Steve said as he returned to his bowl of cereal. It wasn’t that huge a deal because a lot of times people took breakfast back to their rooms when they didn’t feel like it, it usually implied they were probably upset or not in the mood and that was that. Nobody brought it up with them unless said person did so themselves. What with the shared history of trauma between them, it was hardly unreasonable. It was an unspoken rule and probably the only one that was mindfully followed by everybody living at Stark Towers. However, there was a gnawing feeling in the pit of your stomach that said somehow you had something to do with it, you just didn’t know what or how. The rest of the breakfast continued with the usual jibes but the mood was a little lost on you now. Thoughts about what had happened with Bucky today morning coupled with his behaviour during the past few weeks, all of it kept coming back in uneasy waves and you couldn’t for the life of you figure it out.

-

Bucky entered his room and he realized he’d carried his breakfast plate back with him. His monkey brain wanted to smash it to pieces against the wall but his human brain knew better. Instead he sank down into his bed and with his head buried in his hands, he wanted to groan. Well, to be fair he really wanted to scream but he knew that was The Red Flag if there was any. As it is now he had to conjure up a whole situation to explain his behavior at breakfast. It wasn’t a huge deal, but Steve would definitely be after him until he ‘fessed up. Did he want to tell Steve yet? God, what was he doing, what the hell was up with him these days? Bucky’s head remained buried in his hands as his mind wandered anxiously, asking him all these questions he didn’t have answers to.

Try as he might, he could no longer go back to seeing you the way he used to before that day. He and you used to be close, you both had started to spend a fair amount of time together ever since the day you both discovered that you both shared the same “spot” in the balcony and you’d only never run into each other until that day because you both usually went their your own separate times.

You were sitting in the balcony swing earphones plugged in listening to covers of Boyce Avenue and more than enthusiastically singing along when you suddenly noticed a shadow to your right. You turned to see Bucky standing there awkwardly with a beer unsure of what to say or do.

“I can uh come back later?”

You had been beyond mortified that the Winter Soldier had just heard you screaming your lungs away from the 27th floor of the Stark Towers. It didn’t help that you’d had a tiny crush on him ever since Steve had brought him after having found him in Romania. Of course, you’d never known how to talk to him or what to say so you’d kept your distance from him more out of compulsion than desire.

“You can sit here with me too if you want, I don’t mind.” You offered with a smile hoping he’d agree and he had. He sat down next to you and conversation flowed easy between you two.

“I thought nobody else came up here.”

“So did I, guess we both just never ran into each other?”

“What song were you singing?”

You were one of the very few people that Bucky had been learning to drop his guard around. He’d just started to get comfortable around you. You had initially been shy around him but once you’d opened up to him, it hadn’t taken very long, there wasn’t much you shied away from anymore. It amused as well as amazed Bucky every time how free you were with your words and actions, how straightforward you were. Bucky liked hanging out with you because when he was you he didn’t have to do much talking and unlike with most people there was never an awkward silence between you both, you talked more than enough to compensate for him and you could go off on any given topic and then fifteen minutes later you’d end up one some distant tangential topic having completely forgotten what you were originally supposed to be talking about. Bucky always laughed when you did that.

-

It was evening and you were in your room watching some tv series but somehow you just weren’t feeling it. You’d already spent most of the day in front of your laptop having nothing better on the day off and you were beyond bored. You’d binge watched all the seasons of two entire tv series. The situation with Bucky kept coming up in your mind and each time you pushed it back, not wanting to and not knowing how to deal with it. You thought of calling up some old friends you hadn’t spoken to in a while and that was how about an hour and a half on the phone later they’d convinced you to meet them the same night insisting that you all hadn’t had a girls’ night out in a very long time. It didn’t take much for you to agree because it was true, and given the funk you were in, it seemed like a good idea to keep your thoughts out of your head for a while and have some fun. Keeping the phone, you put your favourite playlist on shuffle at the highest volume as you started preparing to go out. Sort of as a present to yourself, you wanted to put in more effort into dressing up than you usually otherwise would. You were meeting your friends after so long, you were excited! Plus, they always teased you about turning up everywhere in pajamas you’d show them, you grinned to yourself as you knew just the dress to wear tonight.

-

Bucky woke up from a nap he didn’t remember taking. He sat up rubbing his eyes with the back of his right hand, what time was it? Yawning, he reached his hand out for the bottle of water on his bedside table only to realize that it was empty. Grumbling, he made his way out of his room and towards the kitchen. It seemed like a quiet evening at Stark Towers, he wondered what everyone was up to. He’d kept away from everyone since the fiasco at breakfast that morning and though today was one of the few off days he still spent more hours than he could count at the training pit today, sure that he wouldn’t run into anyone there at least today. Steve had asked him if he wanted to have lunch together but he was sure you’d be there too and so he’d refused, saying he wasn’t feeling like it. Blaming it on the trauma was always a convenient card that had gotten him out of several situations he didn’t want to be a part of, he’d agree to that. He knew he’d have to answer to Steve at some point but Bucky was good at putting away doing things until it was absolutely necessary and he figured he had a while before this situation reached that particular level. As he passed the living room he saw that it was empty too. Strange, Bucky thought. Maybe they’d all gone to that painting place they were all talking about? Or was it bowling? Paint bowling? Whatever it was, Bucky couldn’t understand it very well and neither did he bother. If people wanted to have something to do with those two things together, which in Bucky’s opinion absolutely did not make sense, then who was Bucky to stop them.

Reaching the kitchen, he opened the door of the fridge he looked around to see what there was. He’d initially come for water but on his way here he’d realized his stomach had been rudely signaling at the absence of food. His eyes fell first on a bottle of beer and right next to it was his labeled flask of Asguardian whisky. He grimaced at the sight of it and the associated memories. Finding a protein bar, he ripped it open and bit off a big chunk before continuing his search for more food. Hearing the sound of footsteps, he turned around slightly eagerly to see who it was only to freeze in position as soon as he did, his mouth opening of its own accord in shock as he saw you standing there looking beyond beautiful like you always did but also unforgiving-ly and in downright sinful dress. Two impossibly thin straps held up a black material which clung to your body like a second skin. A slit ran up down from your thigh to your ankle and Bucky’s burning gaze travelled upwards, ashamed of how much he just wanted to crawl in between your legs and lick you through your underwear. The convenience of the placement of the slit was giving Bucky a whiplash of ideas, each of them filthier than the one before it. He couldn’t even look straight at your face without being drawn down hypnotically to your chest. The sensory overload was killing him; the neckline of your dress was dangerously low and Bucky could see your chest rising and falling softly even as you breathed. What wouldn’t he do at that moment to grab you by your waist, throw you over the kitchen counter and fuck you raw. He’d show you why you didn’t need to keep bringing home absolute douchebags every other day. He could make love to you so much better than any of them ever could, he could make you cum over and over again just by eating you out until you screamed his name for him to stop because it felt like the pleasure would rip you apart if you came one more time; and then he would make you come one more time, and then once again for good measure. Bucky would treat you like a fucking queen if you ever just said the word, if only you even liked him. God, even the thought of anyone else but him touching you enraged Bucky. Thoughts of every single thing that Bucky wanted to do to you right now in that godforsaken dress rushed through his mind a million per second and he swore if you stood there a second longer he’d lose all sense of control and-

“Uh Bucky?”

“Yeah?” He shook himself out of his little daydream just in time, thank god for his super soldier reflexes. Bucky didn’t know how else he would’ve borne to be around you had it not been for them.

“Could you pass me the water?”

“Sure.”

“Thanks.” You gave him a small smile.

Bucky gave a tight lipped smile back in reply but it soon faded very quickly as he watched your cherry coloured lips wrap around the mouth of the bottle as you drank from it. Bucky tried to tear his eyes away from you but he couldn’t, his eyes were locked onto you as sinful thought after thought kept invading his sanity. Bucky’s mind wandered to how pretty your lips would look wrapped around h-

A sudden movement in his line of sight shook Bucky out of his trail as he watched you walk away, heels clicking against the marble floor. He saw that you’d kept the bottle back on the counter, the slightest red lipstick stain on the edge of the neck. The protein bar in his hand was long forgotten as Bucky was now occupied with another bodily sensation, his cock was painfully straining against his sweatpants. Just seeing you had given Bucky an erection and then seeing your with your lips wrapped around the bottle had only made it even worse. Bucky leaned forward onto the counter burying his face into his palms and groaned. What were you doing to him? This had never happened before, why was it happening now? What was happening to him? All these new feelings and sensations were alien to Bucky, he had no clue how to deal with any of them. All he knew was that he had to have you, how he didn’t know. Turning around to close the fridge Bucky’s eyes landed on his labeled flask once again. Grumbling, and against his better judgement or lack thereof, he picked it up, shut the fridge with more force than was necessary and walked back to his room. Tonight was going to be another long night and Bucky wondered how long this would go on before he gave in and did something about it.


End file.
